Former West Virginia University quarterback Garrett “Fuck It I’m Just Gonna Run” Greene, has recently declared for the NFL draft. Surprisingly, Greene will not be attempting the NFL move in his native quarterback position, but as a wide receiver instead. Likely preparing for the inevitability of not being drafted, Greene has considered taking a sixth year at WVU, in order to receive another season of eligibility and attain his masters degree. Several WVU students have approached the Sunnyside Instigator with their opinions on the matter, with one saying “hey that’s okay, no need for all that”, and several quoting the famous adage “and stay out!”. More than one student mentioned the idea of Greene and former coach Neal Brown teaming up to form some sort of misfit crime fighting superhero-esque duo in order to repay their debts to Morgantown and the university. We wish Greene the best of luck pursuing his future in the NFL, but we also believe he has a bright future in a place that happens to not be this one.
