“Doe, a deer! A female deer!” These are words that you, deer reader, may have uttered had you been inside of or directly near the WVU Campus “Book” store, (Book in quotations because let’s be honest, no books are sold there) yesterday around 1pm. The striking scene occurred when a large deer, a species we have been told is native to the Morgantown area, was seen attempting to enter the Barnes and Noble on University Avenue, just as many of us do everyday. But this attempt of entry, we are told, was different than many others. Despite the rather intuitive design of the various doors and entryways on site, the deer just couldn’t seem to figure out how to gracefully patronize the store, with its various knick-knacks and university branded merch offered, without making a big mess of things. But what does all this mean for we, the people?
One of our reporters sat down with a fourth year senior, studying Wildlife and Fisheries at WVU, to ask what she thought about the incident, and what it indicates in relation to ongoing environmental, and ecological complications in West Virginia and the greater United States. Unfortunately, the student was exceedingly attractive, and our reporter forgot to ask her any questions besides an initial and immediate “can I get yo snap PLEASE”, at which point the interview was swiftly concluded. The reporter refuses to say whether or not he did in fact manage to “get her digits”.
So that leaves it to me to tell you what exactly this all means and why it happened. A leading theory in my brain and mind is that this incident is a sign. A sign that nature in the greater Morgantown area is healing, and venturing back into it’s once lost habitats. Just wait folks, soon you’ll have sheep grazing on the grass of Woodburn circle, wild stallions running free; wind flowing through their manes, their hooves clomping on the firm paved streets below them, cows defecating in the Mountainlair, and so, so much more dear reader. I don’t even have to mention the endless possibilities this all will provide for the campus dining venues, which we all know need a menu update. You ever had a cheesy horse burrito that blew your socks off? Get ready to open your mouth, mind, and heart, cause buddy, they won’t be able to tear you away from that horse meat burrito making station come next month.
The deer we are told, is making a speedy recovering from injuries received yesterday afternoon, but was ultimately unavailable for comment.
