Yesterday afternoon, a regular session of Philosophy 314 (Philosophy of Sex and Gender) was brought to a screeching halt when a radically centrist student, who shall remain nameless, carelessly let a microaggression slip out of his mouth and out into the real world. The statement, we are told, was a rather quintessential aggression of the micro variety: The student proclaimed that he “didn’t see color”. Truly shocking, we know. Like a true microaggresor, he then began to mansplain the meaning and reasoning behind his statement. You may be thinking to yourself, “where the h*ll do these kinds of people get off”? And believe me, we share your feelings. As it was told to us, it was directly after the student began speaking that the entire class fell silent, with their jaws dropped, in awe of such ignorance, bigotry, and naivety.
A student present in class that day told us about his experience witnessing the transgressions. They are as follows: “Yeah man I was just sitting in the back of the class like normal, listening to Clairo and reading my feminist literature, (Simone De Beauvoir’s The Second Sex by the way) when suddenly I hear this hatefully putrid blather streaming from the mouth of one of my fellow classmates. I had to unwillingly pause my Clairo and reluctantly put down my feminist literature so I could put him in his place. I don’t wanna call myself a hero, but I guess I was a hero. Can you guys mention in the article that I’m 6’4″ and single also?”
A brave man indeed, and a true testament to the integrity of our student body here at WVU. The committer of this heinous act was forced by his fellow classmates and professor to stand in the corner for the rest of the period and think about how his actions may affect others. Subsequently, we are told, he will be forced to “sit his white ass down, listen, and learn”, for the remaining classes of the semester in Philosophy 314. We at the Sunnyside Instigator remain hopeful for the future of an inclusive, and safe learning environment at WVU. Though instances like this can fracture the hopes of even the most optimistic among us, it is important that we not break under this hateful pressure, but grow in spite of it. Amen.
